every journey begins with one step

Although I admire both Jen's and Ashley's goals--and success!--in weight loss, my own goals are somewhat different. Thankfully, diabetes and heart disease do not run in my family, but hypertension (high blood pressure) does. And being a nurse, I see every kind of problem you can imagine, so I want to start taking better care of myself this year.

At 5'7½", I wear a size 14. My current weight is 15 lb. over the ideal weight for my height and body type [*update from June 2003: my scale was 5 pounds off, so I was really 20 lb. over], the loss of which is not unattainable by any means, and I would like to lose it. George and I recently bought an elliptical machine mainly because I want to improve my cardiovascular health. I just started using it last week and it's VERY challenging. I plan to use it 4-5 times a week, working my way up to at least 1 mile in 30 minutes. (So far I am up to 0.6 miles in 20 minutes.) I already eat a fairly healthy diet, but it seems like I eat bigger portions than I used to, so I'm trying to cut back. We have also started eating a lot more fruits and vegetables, and I've always taken a multi-vitamin daily. Basically I'm just trying to balance everything out without obsessively counting calories or cutting out all of the stuff I like.

When I was 17, I rode an exercise bike for 1 hour every day of the week for 3 months. I lost 15 lb. just in time to buy a new bathing suit (my first, last, and only two-piece!) for our high school band trip to Florida. To my disappointment, no one really seemed to notice the weight loss (not even my then-boyfriend), so in three more months I had gained it all back. If I didn't look thinner to others it didn't seem worth it to me back then. By the time I graduated high school, I had packed on 5 additional pounds. I did lose 10 lb. during college, but I gained it back plus 5 MORE pounds after I started working three 12-hr nights per week at the hospital (July 2001-Sept 2002). I was eating/sleeping at weird hours on the nights I worked and too depressed to get out of my pajamas on most of my days off (seriously). For the past year and a half I've neglected myself, and it shows in the way I look and feel. I have not been eating right or exercising. This is the most I've ever weighed and I need to get in shape. And this time I'm doing it for ME.

I've never been skinny and I know that I will never be a size 6; being slightly taller than average with a curvy build, I think focusing on overall health rather than numbers/sizes is something that works better for me. It sort-of takes some of the pressure off, at least in terms of defining my health by how I look, which will never be good enough or fast enough and (speaking from experience) is more likely to make me give up. My blood pressure is well within the normal range, and with a minor adjustment in diet, my cholesterol dropped from 207 to 179 a couple months ago. However, I would like to decrease my waist by a few inches, because that's an unhealthy spot to carry extra pounds (unfortunately, no one consulted me before passing on this genetic tendency).

I want to pass on good health to my children and grandchildren. I want to dance wildly with my husband on our 50th wedding anniversary. But I want to have a good chocolate milkshake every now and then. These are my real goals.

Aside from the snack I had tonight (I rarely eat junk--I blame this totally on PMS), I think I'm headed in the right direction. Wish me good health! :)