enough is enough

It's so easy to fall into a dysfunctional cycle of weight loss: the more you lose, the more you want to lose. I used to sneer at those who were never satisfied, and I swore I would never feel that way myself--but this morning it happened.

Right now I'm only 2 lb. away from my goal weight (160). I never thought I'd come close, so I'm proud I even got to this point. But why stop there? I found myself thinking today. I could probably work harder and lose five more pounds. Maybe even ten. I stepped off the scale and collected my senses. It's so tempting, each time you lose a couple pounds, to try for a couple more. There is always an extra inch somewhere that we want to get rid of. We would be sleeker and smaller, shinier and smilier, if we could lose Just Five More Pounds.

My reality-based plan was to get fit through a balanced diet and daily exercise, and I've done just that. I've lost 22 pounds (more than my original goal of 15) since January 2003. I am healthier and stronger; I look better and I feel better. Theoretically, that should be enough. But I am only human, and I have greedy moments when I want my body to be something it's not. However, I'm coming to terms with the possibility of contentment. There really is no shame in being what my husband refers to as "Venus-like" (those old sculptors knew what they were doing! :). I have curves and muscles and yes, a few soft spots too. Who doesn't?

There is no number or size to measure true well-being. It's something we all want, yet when we find it, it's hard to accept. So my new goal is to maintain my weight, possibly losing 2 more pounds, and stopping there. This is no longer about needing to lose weight for good health; this is about me enjoying my good health. Because I worked hard for it and now here I am, right in the middle of it. I don't need a scale to tell me that.