grand finale

On Tuesday I had my annual physical. My doctor said I was perfectly healthy (BP = 109/72! Yay!), but he wanted to check my thyroid levels before he gave me a refill for my medication. I asked him if thyroid levels could fluctuate after losing weight.

"It might," he responded. "How much have you lost?"

I couldn't help grinning. "Thirty."

He looked down at the chart, then back at me, and extended his hand with a smile. I shook it proudly. "So THAT'S why you look different!" he exclaimed. "Congratulations!"

I weighed 174 lb at my last check-up in February 2004. That was at the height of my desperation, when I asked my doctor why I couldn't lose weight--and he couldn't give me an answer. I was eating right and exercising, but nothing seemed to work. My doctor was not really concerned because my weight was not gained as an adult. To me, that was all the more frustrating, because I've been battling my weight for as long as I can remember.

I have been on a low-fat diet since I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism in 1992; I was active and athletic all my life, but I was always 15-20 lb overweight. I weighed 175 lb when I graduated from high school and remained around 170 lb throughout college. The summer after my wedding, I gained an additional 10 lb--and I got scared. I decided not to let it go any farther. In January 2003, I began exercising regularly. I lost 10 lb by June 2003 but then hit a plateau that lasted 10 long, frustrating months. There is nothing worse than being overweight except working hard to lose weight and failing. But I kept trying.

One year later, I stepped onto the scale at the doctor's office and watched the nurse stop at 144 lb (IN SHOES!). What made the difference for me? Last April I decided to try a lower-refined-carb and low-sugar diet. I ate wheat bread instead of white, more vegetables instead of potatoes and rice, and sugar-free cookies instead of "real" sweets (except on special occasions). That change in diet, along with continued regular exercise, proved to be exactly what my body needed. My goal was to lose 14 lb in 6 months; instead I lost 30 lb in 8 months! I dropped from a tight size 14 to a loose size 10--even an 8 in some brands. And my thyroid medication dosage is next to nothing now. I'm finally at a healthy weight for my height (5'7½") and I intend to stay that way.

But losing weight is more than a physical experience. After being overweight all my life, it's difficult to see myself as a thinner person. I look at pictures from high school, college, even a year ago, and I can see the difference in my face, my waist, my entire body. I can see it, but I can't quite get my mind around it. FORTY POUNDS. As thrilled as I am about it, and as much as I hear it from others, it's still hard to believe. My goal for 2005 is to feel as great mentally as I do physically.

The battle is won, but the fight continues every day. I still watch what I eat; I still exercise for 20-45 minutes, 5-6 days per week. I don't always feel like doing it, but I do it anyway. My health is important to me and I know I need to make time for it NOW so that I won't have problems later. I take care of myself today so that I will be around to see my children and grandchildren grow up, and to dance with George on our 50th wedding anniversary. I want those things enough to work for them, even if it means sacrificing some sweets and some free time.

And so, this will be my last post about weight loss. At least for a while. I am grateful to everyone who has supported me over the past 2 years, especially my husband. Thank you for walking with me in good or bad weather. Thank you for that moment when I got to shake my doctor's hand. Thank you for my first pair of size 8 jeans. Thank you for a healthy body in which to bear a child someday. Thank you for a longer, happier life. Most of all, thank you for loving the "before" me just as much as the "after."